Attachment Styles and The Distorted Beliefs from Pop Psychology

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When a society is being given about something that related to them, they will seeking about each one that suit them well. In this topic, when a couple being given about related relationship issues, they tend to seek about the ideal or not. The tendencies of seeking a distinction between the good and bad get amplified by the media that related to the relationship’s dramas. The example is the tiktok’s trend that explain attachment style and It traits in a simple way. Attachment style that was developed by John Bowlby was a theory that explained about relationship between children and their parents or Caregiver. But recently, the attachment style was known as a type of a romantic relationship. According to Hazan and Shaver (1987), this theory say the attachment that formed during childhood tend to stay following the adulthood, so it also influencing the romantic relationship. This pattern affecting how individual can build their intimacy and rely on their partner. From four types that present in attachment style theory, the avoidant style and the Anxious style are the most famous type. Both avoidant and Anxious type are issues that often shown by tiktok’s content creator and give learning about. They both always in the same frame and equalized in some content. So what is avoidant and Anxious attachment style? That is types of attachment that appear in a relationship. Avoidant attachment style is a type of people that avoiding an overly intimacy with their partner. They prefer to depend and believing on themselves rather than their partner to make a gap from them. They afraid that their intimacy can make a big conflict. So when their partner demand an intense closeness, the avoidant will begin to withdraw themselves. Some people with avoidant style also used to be a “silent treatment” person while the Anxious style is the reverse type of avoidant. Anxious attachment style is a type of people that depend on their partner. They afraid of abandoning and always need of a validation of love. In a relationship, individual with anxious type often feel an overly anxious and overthink when they not in a good terms of relationship. Relationship with anxious type involve, marked by an obsession, jealous, and high emotional plot. And when person with anxious attachment style is facing partner with distant emotional such as avoidant, they will triggered by a feel of abandonment and will asking an over question about their partner’s love. By the definition above, we can know about our type of attachment style and overcome if the traits suit our behaviour. And the first right step if we found that our partner have that type, maybe we can try to understand them and their feeling.